My late friend Mike Wells said, “People don’t normally understand how to live Christ's life until they are in their 50s. It takes that long to fail enough to learn dependence on Christ.” Failure, disappointments, and pain are the tools God uses to bring us to the end of ourselves so that we can learn to fully trust him. It’s really the only way we learn, and it normally takes a long time.

We may read about God’s faithfulness in the Bible and agree with it in our minds, but it is only through experiencing God’s faithfulness in times of struggle and failure does that truth move from our heads down into our hearts. God strategically and consistently uses circumstances to teach us deep truths about Himself and about us. As I look back on my life, I find that I learned more about Jesus and His Life in me through my struggles than through the successes of my life. It took multiple lessons over many years for me to finally begin to get it. The ministry of Forgiving Forward would not exist were it not for the betrayals and sufferings we endured throughout decades of serving in churches. Only God could have taken our misery and turned it into a ministry masterpiece.

The message of Gospel-centric forgiveness teaches us that we don’t forgive people, we forgive wounds and that freedom will be experienced when we forgive the specific wounds incurred against us. Jesus says in Matthew 18 that we should forgive “from our hearts.” To say, “I forgive my uncle,” period, is not forgiving from our hearts but from our minds, and the wounds in the heart are left behind to fester. Jesus, our supreme example, said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they DO.” So, to forgive from our hearts will sound like, “I choose to forgive my uncle from my heart FOR saying this, doing that, not doing this, making me feel,” etc. We must be specific. When we identify the wounds, specifically, by speaking them aloud and laying them at the cross, we will experience freedom.

The story of Christmas actually has its roots in Genesis 3. When God told Adam not to eat from the forbidden tree, God made Adam a promise. “…but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for on the day that you eat from it you will certainly die.” (Genesis 2:17) God’s promise was that the consequence of man’s sin was that he would lose his relationship with his Creator. God kept His promise. When Adam and Eve fell to the seduction of the serpent, curses were declared on all three co-conspirators as our first parents were banished from the garden and severed from life with God. Yet in the midst of keeping His promise, God gave them a new promise as He pronounced the curse on the serpent. “And I will make enemies of you and the woman, and of your offspring and her Descendant; He shall bruise you on the head, and you shall bruise Him on the heel.” (Genesis 3:15) God promised that the woman would have a Child (Jesus) who would ultimately crush the head of the serpent, thus breaking Satan’s power over man and providing a way for man to be restored to relationship with God. As the details of the promise were further developed throughout the Old Testament, we can see how God orchestrated a fulfillment of that new promise leading to Jesus’s death and resurrection. This new promise to bring mankind back to life would require God to do something that man could never do for himself. God would have to pay man’s sin debt, which He accomplished when Jesus shed His blood on the Cross.

The Gospel story is all about freedom. The Babe in the manger was born in Bethlehem to liberate the world by conquering sin and death through the Cross and the Empty Tomb. With His blood, Jesus paid the ransom so that dead men could live. In the 11th chapter of his Gospel, John gives a prelude to this in the account of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead.

It’s a familiar story. Jesus’ friend Lazarus became sick. Knowing what would happen, Jesus delayed his arrival until after he died. Jesus did this purposefully to display His resurrection power as a preview of what He would do for us through His own death and resurrection. After consoling Lazarus’s sisters, Jesus went to Lazarus’ tomb and commanded, “Lazarus, come forth!” And he did! The dead man came back to life. The cold heart started beating as the motionless lungs began breathing again. By His word, Jesus defeated death and His friend was suddenly alive again.

What’s interesting to me is what Jesus says next. “Unbind him and let him go.” Why did He say that? Lazarus was dead and now he’s alive. He’s been set free from the bondage of death. He was now walking again. Why did someone have to loose him and let him go? Because he wasn’t walking free! Someone had to help him get the grave clothes off. Sometimes, we all need help getting the death off of us—the things from our old life and from our past that keep us from walking free. We have found that one of the primary things that binds us and keeps us from walking free is the torment associated with old wounds. Forgiven people cannot walk freely unless they extend that forgiveness to those who wounded them. And most of the time, people need someone to help them forgive.

Day in and day out, we see grown men and women who are tormented, struggling, hurting, bound, hopeless…the list goes on and on. Almost, if not every, person we meet with is struggling with a wound from their childhood. I’ve often thought that if only children could learn how to forgive at the earliest age, they could avoid so much of the pain and torment that carrying unforgiveness throughout their lives brings.

I don’t know any Christ-follower who doesn't want to experience the abundant life Jesus promised us. Unfortunately, from my observation, few seem to be living that life. As we have traveled the country and around the world, we have encountered believers who, from all outward and spoken indicators, are not walking in joy, but instead are living in torment and defeat. The question that presents itself is, “why?” Why do so many of us struggle and muddle our way through our daily lives when Jesus promised us so much more?

The answer is found in the first part of John 10:10. When Jesus said, “I came that they may have life,” He was contrasting Himself with “the thief.” Our enemy, Satan, is a thief who wants to steal our faith, kill our joy, and destroy our effectiveness. He is ruthless in his schemes to keep us from the abundant life our Savior came to give us. Two of his most used tools to short-circuit us are unforgiveness and sin-management. If Satan can keep us bitter and keep us living our lives in our own strength, he can keep us tormented and disconnected from the Holy Spirit’s power. However, Jesus has given us two keys to keep Satan defeated and us walking in freedom. The primary keys to the Abundant Life are to Forgive and to Abide.

At this point in my life, I’ve learned not to underestimate two things: the depravity of man and the power of the Cross of Jesus. We’ve been leading the Forgiving Forward Ministry and Coaching people to freedom for 15 years and every time I think I’ve heard the worst story imaginable, I hear a story that boggles my mind with the atrocities human beings can inflict on other people. At the same time, I am constantly amazed at how the power of the Cross redeems man’s deepest depravity and sets them free. One of the latest examples is my new friend Steve.