A few months ago, I (Toni) was invited to speak to a group of women with the Mom-to-Mom ministries. I had previously spoken on forgiveness, so they encouraged me to speak on a different topic. “Speak on something that will inspire and equip these women as they raise their children.”

Day in and day out, we see grown men and women who are tormented, struggling, hurting, bound, hopeless…the list goes on and on. Almost, if not every, person we meet with is struggling with a wound from their childhood. I’ve often thought that if only children could learn how to forgive at the earliest age, they could avoid so much of the pain and torment that carrying unforgiveness throughout their lives brings.

I have six grandchildren, ranging in age from two to ten. One day, I was chatting with one of them and asked, “Is forgiveness important?” The response I got was, “Gammas, forgiveness is important. God says to forgive. Period. Forgiveness is having compassion on someone for doing wrong to you. Jesus is in my heart, and He gave me His life. (Inference: I forgive because He does. It’s His life living through me.) When I forgive, I feel better. I feel like the stuff in there got all covered and I can start from the beginning again. I feel safe. Gammas, in our house, we say, ‘I will not hold this against you.’” Out of the mouth of babes.

Forgiving is not just an adult activity. It’s for anyone who has been wounded. Forgiveness is honoring the sacrifice of Christ by applying His blood as payment in full for every wound I have or will suffer. Children get wounded, too! Teaching our children and grandchildren to honor the sacrifice of Christ by forgiving is crucial!

In 1 Samuel 1, we read the story of Hannah seeking God at the Tabernacle in Shiloh, where she and her husband would go yearly to worship and make their sacrifices on the altar of the Lord. She vowed to God that if He gave her a child, she would return her child to Him to serve Him all his days. God heard her prayer, blessed her with a son, Samuel, and she left him to minister to the Lord at Shiloh when he was a young boy.

For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition that I made to him. Therefore I have lent him to the LORD. As long as he lives, he is lent to the LORD.”
And he worshiped the LORD there. 1 Samuel 1:28

Samuel worshiped the Lord as a young boy! It is obvious that his mama taught him and modeled for him a holy reverence for God. Children can be the best worshippers!

In 1 Samuel 2, Hannah and Samuel are contrasted with Eli, the priest, and his sons, Hophni and Phinehas.

Now the sons of Eli were worthless men. They did not know the LORD. 1 Samuel 2:12

The Scriptures tell us that as Hophni and Phinehas were tending the altar of the Lord, they would demand the choicest meats be given to them. They would take the meat by force before it was even sacrificed. They were gluttons. 1 Samuel 2:17 says,

Thus the sin of the young men was very great in the sight of the LORD, for the men treated the offering of the LORD with contempt.” (Emphasis mine)

Then God confronts Eli,

“Why do you scorn my sacrifices and my offerings that I commanded for my dwelling, and why do you honor your sons above Me by fattening yourselves on the choicest parts of every offering of my people Israel.” 1 Samuel 2:29 (Emphasis mine)

Woah! God told Eli that he was honoring his sons above God because he did not confront his son’s sinful behavior of disregarding the altar of the Lord. He didn’t teach his sons to know the Lord. They didn’t worship the holy God like Samuel did. Eli and his son’s lives were cut short and Samuel was put in Eli’s in his place.

When we don’t forgive or when we don’t teach our children to forgive, we disregard the Lord's sacrifice. We don’t value the altar on which He gave His life.

How much severer punishment do you think he will deserve who has trampled under foot the Son of God, and has regarded as unclean the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has insulted the Spirit of grace?
Hebrews 10:29

It is as if we are saying, “Father God, I am so grateful for Your sacrifice for me; that You have given me eternal life; that you have made a way for me… but for what this person has done to me, for what this person has said to me, for how they severely wounded me, the blood of your Son is not enough, I demand something more. (I want more…spiritual gluttony.)”

Next to teaching our children about Jesus and His sacrifice for them, teaching them HOW to forgive is the most important truth we can pass on to them. When your child comes to you in tears because their friend at school said something mean to them, or they weren’t chosen for the basketball team, or Dad left, or…don’t just brush them off by telling them, “It will be okay,” or “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” or “That’s no big deal,” but instead, take the time to help them forgive the specific things that hurt them. Then, help them bless the person who wounded them.

How beautiful it is to experience a child forgiving. One 8-year-old child, after experiencing freedom through forgiveness, noticed his teacher complaining about someone who hurt her. He respectfully pointed out her unforgiveness then helped her forgive. She was amazed. Another child who had already attempted suicide (yes, even children sometimes want out) forgave some deep wounds in her life. She received freedom and the desire to live again.

Please don't underestimate the need for the children in your life to forgive the wounds they experience. It’s a beautiful opportunity for them to experience the value of Christ’s sacrifice and join Samuel in worshiping their Creator.

If you are unsure how to help your children forgive, please visit www.forgivingforward.com. We would be honored to help.

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