Does It Last?: Will the freedom I experience through forgiveness continue?

"When we meet with an individual or a couple, we not only rejoice in their freedom, but we also we end our time warning them that the enemy of their souls is not happy and will come to try and draw them back into unforgiveness, resulting in torment—he loves to torment us. So we have found it important to give the tools necessary to stand firm in the finished work of the Cross of Christ." // https://forgivingforward.com/lasting-freedom/

By Toni Hebel

David and Missy came to us, led by God, broken. Their experience is one of so many we have the privilege of witnessing. We share the message God has given us to steward, they believe and God does the work in their hearts that completely changes them and in such a relatively short time.

One question we are repeatedly asked is, “Does it last?” “Does the freedom last?” Good question. Our response is, “Does salvation last?” Absolutely. Does the joy of our salvation last? Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. Horizontal forgiveness is no different.  When we fully forgive, we experience the tormenters leave, immediately. Where we put our focus is the answer. We can accept Christ Jesus as our Savior and enjoy this new life He has given us, but when we change our focus, putting our hope in anyone or anything other than Him, including ourselves, we will experience loss, defeat. The moment we focus on the wound and entertain the pain, embracing the thought that they still owe us something, i.e. going back into unforgiveness—that is the moment we will be brought back under torment. So does it last? Absolutely. How? By continuing to believe and focus on this truth:

Forgiveness is:
Applying the Blood of Jesus
as Payment in Full
to Every Wound that I Have and Will Receive.

When we meet with an individual or a couple, we not only rejoice in their freedom, but we also we end our time warning them that the enemy of their souls is not happy and will come to try and draw them back into unforgiveness, resulting in torment—he loves to torment us. So we have found it important to give the tools necessary to stand firm in the finished work of the Cross of Christ. Listen to Missy share from her heart not only her initial victory, which was huge, but also how she continues to walk in her freedom.

Forgiving Forward completely changed my life!  It has been a little over two years now since I was introduced to Forgiving Forward, and I am so grateful for its message.  Seven months prior to that (in January of 2013), I had discovered that my husband had been unfaithful to me with a close friend of mine.  Because we were all serving in ministry together, this was made public before our church.  My nightmare began.

For months on end I struggled.  I had a counselor tell me that not a lot of people can understand the loss I had experienced, because not a lot of people experience the type of marriage we had.  We had a beautiful marriage, and I was stuck grieving the loss of what we’d had. Over the next several months, we made some progress, but there were always triggers that brought back the memories and pain of what had happened.  We would be okay for a while, and then fall back into a pit.  

Then we met Dr. Bruce and Toni Hebel.  My husband and I spent the next four hours with them and were completely healed.  God performed a miracle in their living room, and that miracle was total forgiveness. Our marriage was instantly more beautiful than before. I never knew that such love could come from that much pain.  What I thought was impossible, healing from such a betrayal, was done in one evening.  Countless prayers had gone up in the months before, “Lord, I know I need to forgive, but how?”  In just a few hours it was completely done, and I was free!

The key to lasting freedom lies in the sixth protocol, committing to “not remember.”  The truth is, I can never forget what happened.  There were reminders everywhere of what happened (places, people, songs, thoughts), especially early on.  It’s what I do when that memory is triggered that makes the difference between freedom and torment.

Satan would love nothing more than to pull someone back into unforgiveness.  Unfortunately, choosing to go back down that bitter thought pattern can easily do this.  The thought comes, “Remember what she did?” Then you do remember.  “How could she have done that to me?” From there, you continue to think about it, and before you know it you’re sliding back into unforgiveness.  

Instead, when the thought comes, “Remember what she did?” you use that as a reminder to “not remember.”  Right then say, “I specifically remember forgiving her for that, and I’m so thankful for the freedom that brought me.  Right now, I ask that God will bless her.” Then pray specific blessings for that person. 

That’s how you maintain your freedom.  In Luke 17:1, the Bible says, “Offences are sure to come…” so everyday presents new opportunities to exercise our forgiveness muscle.  Living a life of forgiveness means living a life of freedom!

Missy’s story is not unusual. The Cross of Christ, the blood of Jesus is just that powerful. If you are struggling with finding that freedom you so desperately want, please contact our office for further help. Who knows, it just may be Missy that helps you find what she was looking for two years ago.

(Missy and her husband David are Certified Forgiving Forward coaches who are helping many find healing, not only in their hearts, but also their marriages, families and relationships.)

www.forgivingforward.com

770-461-4151

Secondary Wounds: Forgiving those who hurt the people we love

by Dr. Bruce Hebel

Recently I was asked an interesting question: “If I feel personally offended by somebody who wounded a person I love, do I need to forgive that person? For instance, do you sometimes need to forgive your in-laws for something they did to your spouse?” The short answer is, “of course!”

One of the things that trips people up when it comes to forgiveness is the difference between forgiving a person and forgiving a wound.  We don’t forgive people; we forgive wounds that have been caused by people. Some have greater difficulty in dealing with what I would call “secondary wounds.” A secondary wound is a wound caused by an offense committed against someone we love rather than an offense committed directly against us. Over the years, Toni has had a more difficult time dealing with criticism against me then I have.  As a father, I am more quickly moved to defend my children than I am myself. I hate to see my children hurt. And as Mr. T would say, “pity the fool” who would hurt my wife.

As we’ve coached couples through forgiveness, we have found that most often the conflict in the marital relationship is caused by wounds suffered before the couple met, usually by a parent. The torment associated with those wounds will significantly impact the person’s relationship with his or her spouse. This results in the spouse suffering a secondary wound directly related to what the in-laws did to wound their mate earlier. These secondary wounds are just as painful as direct wounds and must be forgiven or we are inviting torment, according to Matthew 18.

For example, we have coached wives to forgive their mother-in-law’s for controlling and manipulating their husbands. We have coached husbands to forgive their father-in-law’s for neglecting, abusing or abandoning their wives. We have also coached wives to forgive their husband’s ex-wives and husbands to forgive their wife’s ex-husbands. In each instance, the person forgiving the secondary wound found freedom.

Unfortunately, I know of a family in which a lady refuses to forgive her niece for something the niece did to wound her daughter. This lady refuses to forgive even though the wound was against her daughter, not herself.  Her bitterness is wounding the entire family, particularly her parents.  Her parents, however, have made the choice to forgive everyone involved, including the daughter who refuses to forgive. Still grieved by the situation, they have found peace even though their daughter suffers in torment because she refuses to forgive.

You see, the enemy loves to torment us and uses deception and distortion to keep us from forgiving. Yet we can be free when we choose to forgive every wound that we suffer, whether direct or secondary. The reason we forgive is simple: The blood of Jesus covers all sins, including the ones committed against me… AND against the people I love.  So go ahead, forgive those in-laws. All you have to lose is torment!

Unfallen: What those moments of slipping can remind us of about our God

by Toni Hebel

Have you ever had one of those days where you slip and “almost” fall numerous times? Your heart beats fast and hard…you grab something to keep yourself upright? You start thanking God aloud that you didn’t completely fall and break something? Today was one of those days.

The bathroom floor—very slippery—I’ve gone down there before and ended up with stitches. Didn’t want to experience that again. The sidewalk after a rain—moldy places that cause a tennis shoe to slide like skates on ice. Broke a foot stepping off a sidewalk once. Trying to prevent that from happening. One, Two, Three “almost” falls in a span of minutes. Frightening. “Lord, are You speaking?”

“Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, to the only wise God our Savior, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both not and ever. Amen.” Jude 24-25

Yes! It is God alone that keeps us from falling. He kept me today, but the greater lesson is He keeps me “unfallen” spiritually everyday for a greater purpose. His glory…which brings Him great joy.

It is God alone who presents us faultless before His presence. It is God alone who took our faultiness, our sin, our condemnation and put them on His Son, our Savior. It is God alone who takes all of our “falls” and turned them from upside down to right side up, to show His glory, His majesty, His dominion and His power. God alone.

Sherry came with a heavy heart. Multiple affairs. Multiple abortions. Drugs. Attempted murder. The bondage which seemed impossible to be set free from was overwhelmed with a revelation from the One that makes the impossible possible.  This revelation would forever change her life, her heart, her path. The forgiveness of God through the death of His Son—period. Her victory came when she received this fact as truth in her life. She received His forgiveness. She stopped trying to make herself pay and fully received His blood as payment. She forgave herself, a way of appropriating the truth of His forgiveness. She realized that believing she had to do something to fix it, to atone for it, was to say that “God plus me” was the answer. Her revelation was that it’s God “alone” that kept her from falling…in other words, “kept her unfallen.”

So the next time you slip in the privacy of your home or in a public place for all to see, remember: if you have received His forgiveness, He has kept you. Praise Him for taking all of your falls and rest in the fact that He will use your story for His glory and your good. He’s using hers and many more will become “unfallen” because of it.

How to Make Forgiveness a Lifestyle

by Terrence Hebel

If you are anything like me, forgiving is the last thing you feel like doing when somebody you care about has hurt you. Even when you don’t much care about someone, forgiveness is still hard. But if you know what I now know, I know that forgiveness is exactly what I need to do. My peace depends on it. My very walk with God depends on it.

I often joke that it was necessary to my spiritual well-being that I marry into the Hebel family (I married Dr. Bruce and Toni’s son in 2013). Otherwise, I wouldn’t have the reminders necessary to walk in forgiveness and therefore pure relationship with God. After all, I am naturally the least forgiving person of all.

As a toddler, I used to fixate on small objects. After finding one that I particularly liked, I would carry it around in my hand literally the whole day long. I often use this as an image of what I came to do as I grew older: I wanted to hang on to grudges and never let them go. Big or small, I held on to them tight. As a child, when I was upset with somebody in my immediate family I would go to my room and stay there for hours, stewing.

To this day it is hard for me to forgive. When I am struggling against my flesh to find room in my heart for forgiveness, I often have flashbacks to how I used to carry stuff around as a kid. And to times alone in my childhood bedroom waiting for an apology for who knows what. The apologies rarely came, and I usually ended up stuffing my pain deep down in my heart. (I wouldn’t let that pain resurface until years later, when the healing power of the Holy Spirit came into my heart.)

But I want more than anything to be an expert forgiver. Not only is it my obligation to God in Christ to forgive others as I have been forgiven, but I know how amazing it feels to have a clear, forgiving heart. A heart full of grace and peace with God.

Here are some practical tips that help me to be an expert forgiver, even when I really don’t feel like it:

  1. Start each morning by predetermining that you will forgive everyone who wounds you that day. This way, you will be more emotionally and mentally prepared when the wound inevitably occur.
  2. Join the forgiveness revolution and talk about forgiveness as much as you can. Not only will you be able to really teach/help the people around you, but talking about it often will also keep the message of Forgiving Forward at the forefront of your mind.
  3. Post scripture about forgiveness in your home somewhere where you will see it often. Maybe above the stove, or above your door. Find various scriptures that inspire you to make forgiveness your lifestyle and keep them around as visual cues.
  4. Meditate on God’s forgiveness of you often. Remembering and thanking God often for His gracious forgiveness of you will keep you humble and help you to remember that as you have enjoyed the benefits of forgiveness, so should others. Further, when we remember how much God has forgiven us of, we realize we have no place holding grudges against others and that we need forgiveness just like them.
  5. Go through the protocols as soon after an offense as you can. I have many friends who go through the protocols in their head immediately after an offense occurs. I have recently put this into practice, inspired by them. I have found this so freeing!
  6. Find an accountability buddy (preferably a spouse or close friend or family member) who is familiar with the Forgiving Forward message. For me, my husband keeps me accountable and reminds me that I need to forgive. For you, it might be a sister or brother or friend who knows you well and isn’t afraid to confront you when you are in the wrong (i.e., walking in unforgiveness).

The One: What I learned from the time I lost my wedding rings

by Toni Hebel

God opened my eyes through an unlikely event: the time I lost my wedding rings. // https://forgivingforward.com/weddingrings/ #marriage #christian #christianlivinginspiration

There are three rings I wear everyday. I never take them off, except to sleep. My wedding ring. A pearl ring that carries special sentimental value. A pinkie ring with three diamonds signifying my God is the God Who was, Who is and Who is to come. You can imagine the sick feeling in my gut when recently I went to put them on and they were missing from the dish I always keep them in. The mystery is I had them on the night before—there were two witnesses. Hours later they were missing. It’s as if they just disappeared.

For the last few days, my husband and I have waded through every piece of trash, felt around in pockets, looked in shoes, removed all drawers, taken apart drains, hunted in things, under things, between things—you name it, we’ve done it.

I asked the Lord this morning if I should continue looking? Is this a lost cause? Is there any hope? And in my seeking Him I was drawn to this passage of scripture.

“Suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Doesn’t she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it?  And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’ In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Luke 15:8-10

I guess I’ll keep looking—“until she finds it.”

There is a deeper lesson here though. A reminder. “There is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” One sinner. Not hundreds of sinners. Not thousands. One.

Maggie came for a coaching session because a friend strongly recommended she come. She had been through some painful changes in her life and couldn’t get free of the torment, even after many years. In her quest to be free, she pursued God. But in her pursuit of God, her experience was one of confusion. You see, Maggie is that woman that sits next to you in church on Sunday morning. She is that woman who serves alongside you at your Bible study. She is in your prayer group, your small group, your care group. But she is lost.

Maggie believed the lie that doing all that is expected of her in the church was the way to God’s heart. Her whole life was focused on earning His love. When it was revealed to her that His love, His forgiveness is a free gift, she didn’t repent with a grateful heart, she bolted with an angry heart. I met her one year later.

The day she came to me, after God revealed to her that she was not His, she repented. She received. She was set free. Peace moved into her heart. The one that was lost for so many years was found. Rejoicing took place in heaven.

What a blessing it was to lead this one, this one, to Him. “Rejoice with me, for I found the coin, (the one), that was lost.”

We must open our eyes. We must be aware. We must look. They may be sitting next to you on Sunday. Don’t assume. God is going after that “one” and He may want to use you to bring them home.

As for my rings, they are still lost. I may never get them back. But if I do, I will “call together my friends and neighbors saying, “Rejoice with me, for I have found the (rings) that I had lost.”

Post Father’s Day Thoughts (on Forgiveness)

Thoughts on Father's Day and Forgiveness // https://forgivingforward.com/fathersday/

She called late on Father’s Day. I would normally let our voicemail receive the message, especially on a holiday, but thinking it may be a family member, I quickly answered the phone. “I’ve been through a 12-step program. I’ve been through counseling. I’ve tried everything. My boss is making my life miserable. I can’t go on. Can you help?”

We receive many calls like this one. Last resort. Hurting people. Wounded hearts. “Is there anyone out there that can help me?”

I began to ask the Lord to give me an answer for her specific situation for I have nothing in myself to offer her, but He does. And we weren’t sitting in my office with 2 empty hours ahead of us. She needed an answer now. “Let me ask you this,” I began, “Who wounded you in the same way you are being wounded now? Who wounded you the deepest in your life and what did they do?’” Immediately, without hesitation, she declared the name of a parent. They treated me just like he is treating me.

There lies the root. This is where the torment began. Her answer lies in that revelation. “You must forgive the actions, the wounds, from your parent. Your freedom lies there. I can help you do that.” Immediately she made steps toward that end.

The fact is, we don’t realize just how powerful the cross is in our daily lives. If we have put our faith in Jesus Christ, the Cross has the power to restore relationships, to heal our hearts, to change our perspective. Because of the Cross, our identity is also changed. We are now children of the King. God the Father is our true Father and He is a good Papa. “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” 1 John 3:1 Not even the worst parental situation can change what God thinks of you. “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” Psalm 27:10

We received another message, a different message, on Father’s Day. This message was one of victory from a dear lady who had already applied the Cross to her situation.  I wouldn’t be this happy on this day if it weren’t for the life, passion and ministry of Bruce Hebel and Forgiving Forward. I can’t thank you enough for the work you gave me and my Dad to do. The Cross works!!!! Doesn’t it?!? Thank you and Happy Father’s Day!”

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Yes, the Cross is powerful. Powerful enough for yesterday, powerful enough for today and powerful enough for tomorrow. Your freedom lies there…at the foot of the Cross.

How to start a Huge Forgiveness Revolution in Your Church

Is there pain/hurting people in your church? Learn how to start a forgiveness revolution that will change the way your church functions forever. // https://forgivingforward.com/church-revolution/ // #christian #living #inspiration #forgiveness #church

Fellowship Bible Dallas was shocked at how many women signed up for the 8-week Forgiving Forward Bible Study that they planned for this summer. Imagine 70 busy women giving up their Tuesday nights for two months in the summer–women dedicated to living a life of forgiveness, pre-forgiveness and freedom. A group of women after God’s own heart.

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Last Tuesday the energy was high in the room. We gathered around in our groups and listened to the leader of the event tell part of her testimony of forgiveness. After that, we watched one of the 20-minutes sessions on the Forgiving Forward 8-Week DVD Series. We then broke out into our small groups which were meeting in various private locations throughout the large church. In the small groups we really got personal, and people asked questions that were nudging at their hearts. The small group session is when you could see people really applying the message to their lives.

Are there hurting people at your church? People whom you can tell are tormented by past wounds and having trouble forgiving them? Have you considered starting a Forgiving Forward Bible Study at your church? All that is needed is the DVD, 1 study guide per person! The Study is 8 weeks long and is sure to make a difference in lives and the church as a whole. Contact Terrence Hebel at terrence@forgivingforward.com for more information.

Join us as we unleash the forgiveness revolution!

 

Remember — so you can forget.

by Toni Hebel

How can I forget? How can I forget what they did to me? How can I forget the pain they inflicted? I can’t stop thinking about it. I play the mental DVD of the event over and over in my head.

Yes, it’s true. We cannot forget what happened. We don’t have the ability to forget the painful actions of others against us. But there is something we CAN do.

We can choose not to remember.

When we truly forgive the wounds others have inflicted on us, the power that the memory has had over us is diminished. The event becomes factual not controlling. The emotional connection is broken. It’s a gift from our Heavenly Father. A gift He gives when we apply the blood of His son to our wounds. After coaching people through forgiveness, we have witnessed many say, “When I think about them now, I only remember the good times.”

But…there is something that we are to remember.

In 1 Corinthians 11:23-26 we read, For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, “This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.” For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.

Remember.

Remember—He forgave you. Remember—as far as the east is from the west, He has removed your sin. Remember—that though your sins were as scarlet, they shall be white as snow. Remember—you have been shown mercy and compassion…while you were His enemy He died for you. Remember—He remembers your sins no more. Remember. Remember—all of this is also true for the one who has wounded you. When we remember, we proclaim Him…He is glorified. (1 John 1:9; Psalm 103:12; Isaiah 1:18; Daniel 9:9; Romans 5:10; Hebrews 10:17

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A couple of weeks ago, at my daughter’s wedding, she and her fiancé wanted to incorporate “remembering” into their wedding ceremony. They wanted to lift up Christ as the central part of their marriage covenant. They chose to offer communion, the cup and the bread, in their ceremony. As the grandparents took their places to serve the elements, as a prayer of thanksgiving was lifted to God the Father, a light penetrated from the heavens above down to this piece of earth that was remembering what He had done. The light was not there before “the remembering” or after “the remembering” but only during “the remembering.” It was as if a smile from Heaven was being extended for all to witness. Another reminder of the words spoken centuries ago, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased.”

When we choose to focus on the truth that He forgave us fully, completely and without reservation—when we focus on the fact that He rescued us from the dominion of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of His Son—the Kingdom of Light—our perspective changes toward the one who has wounded us. Our gratitude grows leaving no room for anything but His love, His mercy, His compassion, both in us and through us.

Remember so you can forget.

“Don’t They Need to Pay?”

By Toni Hebel

The story of a car accident, and the eternal insurance policy that it reminds us of. // https://forgivingforward.com/theblog/carwreck/ #Christian #living #inspiration

Often times we get this question from people who are having a difficult time forgiving.  How can I just let them off the hook after what they did to me? It’s not fair. They will think it was O.K. They must pay for what they did!

Yes. It’s true. It isn’t fair. Someone must pay…and Someone did.

1 John 2:2 states,  “and He (Jesus) Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for those of the whole world.”  Propitiation is a big Bible word that means satisfaction, atoning sacrifice. In other words, Jesus has already paid for the sins others have committed against us—all sins. Jesus has paid the debt for the entire world, past-present-future, not just for those who believe in Him, but for the entire world.  People will not spend eternity separated from God because they have not been forgiven. People will spend eternity separated from God because they haven’t repented to receive the benefit of the forgiveness Jesus paid for on the Cross. This means that people who wound us don’t owe us anything because Jesus has already made the payment required by their actions. To demand something more is to commit spiritual fraud. It is to declare that the blood of Jesus isn’t enough.

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Yesterday we experienced a fender bender to our brand new ministry van. Ouch! I was walking to our van that was in the parking lot of a shopping center as my husband was backing out of the parking space to come pick me up. It was like slow motion as I watched him put the car in drive and begin to move forward when another car backed out, ripping off a good portion of our new bumper. My screams of “Stop!” didn’t help a bit. Now we could be angry and attack this person for the damage they committed against our new car—but there is one piece of information that settled our hearts. They have insurance. They have someone that is already committed to pay for the damage to our car.

The same is true of our heart wounds. We don’t have to worry about payment being made by those who hurt us because we have a big brother that has already taken care of that for us.  The Cross provides spiritual insurance for anything that has or ever will happen to us. When we apply the payment He made through His blood to our hearts, our hearts are healed. There may be disappointment, pain, adjustments needed, but God’s got this and we can rest in that. 

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The Forgiveness Protocols

You may ask, "how do I forgive?" Well, we at Forgiving Forward do NOT believe that forgiveness is the process: we believe that it is a choice. Here are the 7 steps to take to forgive someone, instantly! // https://forgivingforward.com/protocols/ #forgiveness #christianliving #Jesus

God has blessed us with these powerful protocols that ANYONE can walk through to apply the blood of Jesus, forgive others and themselves, and experience freedom and blessing.

We recommend that you read the Forgiving Forward book first, so that you fully understand what you are doing and why you are doing it. But we also want all people to be free form the torment of unforgiveness. For this reason, we have decided to post the protocols of forgiveness as revealed to us. Find someone trusted to be a witness and prayer partner as you walk through these protocols and forgive anyone and everyone that the Holy Spirit brings to your mind to forgive.

Set aside enough time to really explore and forgive the wounds of your heart. For some, it takes 3 or 4 hours. Find a private, quiet place in which you feel comfortable crying and talking about your deepest wounds. Holding a Forgiving Forward Protocol bookmark might help guide you through the protocols until you have them memorized. (Most people have the protocols memorized by the end because most people have more than they realize to forgive.)

Here are the 7 protocols as written on the bookmark:

  1. Thank God for forgiving you.
  2. Ask God, “Who do I need to forgive and for what?”
  3. Repent of your sin of unforgiveness.
  4. Forgive each offense from your heart.
    1. “Lord, I choose to forgive ___________ from my heart for ______________________ .”
    2. “Lord, I choose to forgive ___________ from my heart for ______________________ .”
    3. “Lord, is there anything else that I need to forgive __________ for?”
    4. “I declare _________ is no longer in my debt.”
  5. Ask God to bless them and look for ways to bless them when possible.
  6. Commit to “not remember” the offense. When the memory comes…
    1. Say, “I specifically remember forgiving that.”
    2. Praise God for the freedom he brought you.
    3. Bless the person you forgave again.
    4. Pray for reconciliation.
  7. Make pre-forgiveness a lifestyle.

Please note: make sure that you forgive specific wounds. For example, do not say “I forgive my mom for being a bad mom.” Rather, forgive her for specific ways in which you feel she hurt you as your mother.

Also, pay special attention to numbers 6 and 7. It is common that offenses will “re-surface” in your heart. It is very important that you remember that you have forgiven them and that you continue to bless the person whom you have forgiven. Eventually the memories will stop surfacing and pre-forgiveness will get easier.

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