Secondary Wounds: Forgiving those who hurt the people we love

by Dr. Bruce Hebel Recently I was asked an interesting question: “If I feel personally offended by somebody who wounded a person I love, do I need to forgive that person? For instance, do you sometimes need to forgive your in-laws for something they did to your spouse?” The short answer is, “of course!” One of the things that trips people up when it comes to forgiveness is the difference between forgiving a person and [...]

Unfallen: What those moments of slipping can remind us of about our God

by Toni Hebel Have you ever had one of those days where you slip and “almost” fall numerous times? Your heart beats fast and hard…you grab something to keep yourself upright? You start thanking God aloud that you didn’t completely fall and break something? Today was one of those days. The bathroom floor—very slippery—I’ve gone down there before and ended up with stitches. Didn’t want to experience that again. The sidewalk after a rain—moldy places [...]

How to Make Forgiveness a Lifestyle

by Terrence Hebel If you are anything like me, forgiving is the last thing you feel like doing when somebody you care about has hurt you. Even when you don't much care about someone, forgiveness is still hard. But if you know what I now know, I know that forgiveness is exactly what I need to do. My peace depends on it. My very walk with God depends on it. I often joke that it was necessary to my spiritual well-being that I marry into [...]

The One: What I learned from the time I lost my wedding rings

by Toni Hebel There are three rings I wear everyday. I never take them off, except to sleep. My wedding ring. A pearl ring that carries special sentimental value. A pinkie ring with three diamonds signifying my God is the God Who was, Who is and Who is to come. You can imagine the sick feeling in my gut when recently I went to put them on and they were missing from the dish I [...]

Post Father’s Day Thoughts (on Forgiveness)

She called late on Father’s Day. I would normally let our voicemail receive the message, especially on a holiday, but thinking it may be a family member, I quickly answered the phone. “I’ve been through a 12-step program. I’ve been through counseling. I’ve tried everything. My boss is making my life miserable. I can’t go on. Can you help?” We receive many calls like this one. Last resort. Hurting people. Wounded hearts. “Is there anyone [...]

How to start a Huge Forgiveness Revolution in Your Church

Fellowship Bible Dallas was shocked at how many women signed up for the 8-week Forgiving Forward Bible Study that they planned for this summer. Imagine 70 busy women giving up their Tuesday nights for two months in the summer--women dedicated to living a life of forgiveness, pre-forgiveness and freedom. A group of women after God's own heart. Last Tuesday the energy was high in the room. We gathered around in our groups and listened to the leader of the event [...]

Remember — so you can forget.

by Toni Hebel How can I forget? How can I forget what they did to me? How can I forget the pain they inflicted? I can’t stop thinking about it. I play the mental DVD of the event over and over in my head. Yes, it’s true. We cannot forget what happened. We don’t have the ability to forget the painful actions of others against us. But there is something we CAN do. We can [...]

“Don’t They Need to Pay?”

By Toni Hebel Often times we get this question from people who are having a difficult time forgiving.  How can I just let them off the hook after what they did to me? It’s not fair. They will think it was O.K. They must pay for what they did! Yes. It’s true. It isn’t fair. Someone must pay…and Someone did. 1 John 2:2 states,  “and He (Jesus) Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and [...]

The Forgiveness Protocols

God has blessed us with these powerful protocols that ANYONE can walk through to apply the blood of Jesus, forgive others and themselves, and experience freedom and blessing. We recommend that you read the Forgiving Forward book first, so that you fully understand what you are doing and why you are doing it. But we also want all people to be free form the torment of unforgiveness. For this reason, we have decided to post the protocols [...]

What happened when she decided to forgive her ex-boyfriend

Forgiveness and reconciliation do not necessarily go hand-in-hand. Just because you have forgiven someone, does not mean the relationship will be magically repaired. Often times, God does work it that way, however. Here is one girl's story of reconciliation occurring almost immediately after she chose to forgive an ex-boyfriend from her heart (the names have been changed): The break-up with James had been bad. His family's rejection of me had caused a deep, deep wound and [...]

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