Coaching vs Counseling
Michael Wells (Ph.D., Th.D.) is a dear friend of ours who went home to be with Jesus in 2011. We have never met anyone who had a closer walk with Jesus than Mike did. Although he held a Doctorate in Counseling Psychology, he recognized that the revelation of Jesus is the key to overcoming problems and that there is nothing the nearness of Jesus doesn’t cure. This article is foundational in understanding why Forgiving Forward uses the coaching model rather than the traditional counseling model.
Christian Counseling?
For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.
I Corinthians 1:18
by Mike Wells
Once I listened as a brother began to explain how spiritual maturity was to be judged. He used criteria for spirituality neither the other brothers nor I had ever before heard. In a matter of minutes an issue was taken with his position as one of the brothers simply asked, “Where is your criteria found in the Scriptures?” At that the one who began the conversation became quiet; there were no Scriptures for this position. It was merely his position, his experience, and how he felt, but it was not a New Testament barometer of spirituality. If what we had heard taught were crucial to Christian life and maturity, why did Paul, John, or Peter not mention it? My point is simple: It is easy to be sidetracked.
I have noticed that Christian Counseling has actually become a denomination of sorts, with its own language the uninitiated will not understand, concept of man, knowledge, and explanations of behavior that generally have nothing to do with Scripture. In fact, one would be hard pressed to follow the theme of most Christian counseling in any portion of Scripture. This is meant to be critical, for my prayer for the body of Christ each day is that we not be led astray, our focus on Him will be maintained, and we never forget that His presence can cure us from every ill. He may not deliver out of every situation, but He will deliver in the midst of every one, and in this there is greater joy!
It is not enough for a counseling ministry to teach an experience; the call is to teach Christ, not lose Him in the midst of examining and understanding problems. Quite a movement is afoot to “feel the pain” of others, which is said to be accomplished by being honest and explaining that we have defeat, are angry, and are often left scratching our heads in bewilderment as we see babies die, crime increase, and myriad unanswered prayers. To say the above is not so, according to this movement, is denial, and denial is bad.
In fact, I am amazed at the large number of Christian teachers who admit to constant defeat, lack of understanding, bewilderment toward God, misery, and hope that lies only in the assurance that things will get better in heaven. Some of them have gone so far as to label anyone who teaches that things will get better in this present life as a false prophet. Once again, “Where is this taught in Scripture?” It may be these teachers’ experience, but this type of lifelong experience is not Scriptural. Even more amazing is that this open approach can be considered intellectual and spiritual, when it is an obvious case of their inability to lead to where they have not ventured.
Yes, I have had times of defeat, personal and financial crises, and plenty of hiccups in the past. However, life has gotten progressively freer, easier, more enjoyable, quiet, peaceful, and happy. All trials first pass through the hand of God and are planned and needed, bringing with them a degree of maturing for the believer. I do not scratch my head in bewilderment at the Christian life; I cannot wait to see what tomorrow has to offer. When I was a child I could get mad at God, find excuses, and attempt to justify my defeat as the normal Christian experience, but it is not, and trying to make it so is immaturity. Scripture does tell of hard times (I Cor. 4; II Cor. 4), but it speaks much more of joy. Jesus makes it clear He came that we might have joy, peace, and victory and be more than conquerors, filled with His Spirit, with power over the forces of darkness. Paul, Peter, John, and Luke all echo the same. There is the downward path to the cross where we learn to give up on self (even self-examination), but there is also the upward path from the cross where we learn to trust Him intrinsically, where daily victory and joy become the course of the day in the midst of all circumstances.
When I listen to a teacher I want him to have been where I am going, not where I have already been! I do not want someone who “feels my pain”; I already feel it! I must know the way past it. How do I go beyond it? As I draw near and follow the One who passed through pain and came out the other side free in victory, His story will become mine. When Jesus appeared to the disciples after the crucifixion, the proof of His resurrection power was the marks of death. Without death there is no life! “Unless a grain of wheat falls to the earth and dies it will remain by itself, but if it dies it bears much fruit” (John 12:24). Notice the “much fruit.” To teach that the Christian life on this earth is a miserable existence is the denial of basic Christian teaching. Beyond that, it is Buddhism, plain and simple. To say we must understand all our hurt before we get on is Gnosticism and more denial. Too many look to the teaching of Christ, but when failing to experience His freedom, change the concepts to fit themselves.
The answer is so simple. Spend thirty minutes reading Psalm 139, be quiet, let the living God speak to you, and you will discover that you are an overcomer. Paul sang in prison. The term salvation in the New Testament refers to today, not the future. Yes, we want to get into heaven in the future, but salvation is for today. Let no one steal that. We “are being saved” (I Cor. 1:18) TODAY, it is Scriptural. Do not settle for a life of mediocrity when an abundant life is so easily received. If the solution to being free lies in how much you can understand, the last 25 years of Christian counseling have rendered its verdict: You cannot be free. But if God gives freedom for the asking in Jesus’ name to the weak man, it can be yours. Never allow joy to become difficult or just for a chosen few; it is for you!
Excerpt from “My Weakness for His Strength, Volume 2, page 102” by Michael Wells, used with permission.